Here's Where The Story Ends ...

I have been steampunked

2008-06-03T14:18:14Z

... and loving it!

Posted on behalf of Veritaserum!

2008-05-20T12:56:57Z

Here's a nice drawing ... I'll post Verity's description of how this became below:

"while we waited i got my protrait done by a street stall guy, he hooked me with telling me i had beautiful eyes, he then proceeded to tell me whilst drawing me i was gorgeous and so on and so forth, gushing much?"

Quick entry

2008-05-15T14:57:46Z

Well, things appear to getting better for me, it seems. Nothing important happening, but I've almost gone through that gloomy phase now.

Now concentrating on other things for the moment. We'll see how things are in about two months, the dark clouds could roll back in.

But for now ... alles gute

Forewarning ... PMSing to follow

2008-05-05T06:00:44Z

Basically along the same lines as the previous entry to this one ...

One thing's for sure, sadness creates a flurry of songwriting ... better create a new MySpace ... possibly.

Forever Severus ...

2008-05-04T14:53:39Z

I am starting to think that I am bound to not meet someone. I KNOW I'll laugh back on this when it does happen ... if it happens.

Seems everyone I am interested in is not interested in me ... in that way. Makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong?

There is someone who I have decided to tell how I feel about them when I see them next, even though I spoke to them on the phone and kinda hinted at it. So they tell me of their adventures with someone else ... though they're now being stuffed around by them. Makes me mad, cos I know I wouldn't muck them around like that ... but I seem not to be up to their standards or something.

Forever Severus ... that's what it feels like I'll be at the moment. Although I won't be as bitter and harsh as him ... mostly :-p

It just feels like I'm never going to meet that certain someone ... and it aches so much ... so much right now too

:-(

P.S. Damn I hate LJ ... bloody wretching this stuff out of me :-P Enjoy the laugh people, savour the one you're with.

Friends far away

2008-05-01T16:03:46Z

Just chatted to Vers on MSN, and she even switched on the webcam for a bit.

Yeah ... I miss her heaps :-(

She's having fun though, which is good :-)

May the months go quickly! *sigh*

Forget Her

2008-04-25T04:36:12Z

Forget Her - Jeff Buckley

While this time is busy sleeping,
All the noise has died away.
I walk the streets to stop my weeping,
She'll never change her ways.

Don't fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
And my heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
She's somewhere out there now.

Her love is a rose, pale and dying.
Dropping her petals in land unknown
All full of wine, the world before her, was sober with no place to go.

Don't fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
She's somewhere out there now.

Well my tears fall down as I try to forget,
Her love was a joke from the day that we met.
All of the words, all of her men,
all of my pain when I think back to when.

Remember her hair as it shone in the sun,
the smell of the bed when I knew what she'd done.
Tell yourself over and over you won't ever need her again.

But don't fool yourself,
she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
She's out there somewhere now.

Oh She was heartache from the day that I first met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget you, somehow.
Cause I know you're somewhere out there right now

... This pretty much sums up me now. Has done for past week and a half ... and will for some time to come

Mum

2008-04-22T09:28:22Z

Yesterday Mum went into hospital for surgery to remove a hernia from her bowel. It was originally scheduled for later, but the doc said if it got worse they'd go in earlier. And so that happened yesterday.

Mum's not had a good run with surgeries ... 8 years ago she had a bowel blockage which needed emergency surgery, and they missed something or something went wrong because she had two operations in three days and then got an infection which took months to get rid of. It was bloody scary and she came very, very close to dying.

I was so 'off' yesterday, I couldn't concentrate at work ... and then went and had dinner with my stepdad who decided to show me the 'warring' letters between my Mum and Sam. Wasn't really something I needed to see ... blegh.

So today, I had an assessment centre workshop to become a trainer at work, and we were in the second presentation when my phone rang. I didn't recognise the number, so kind of dismissed it. Then during a break, my phone rings again, and it's the hospital telling me to come in, as Mum was having some complications.

Seems she was having some breathing difficulties and they did some stuff for her. All sorts of things were racing through my head as I was driving to the hospital.

She's thankfully settled now, but has oxygen on all the time. Strange what a couple of torrid days can do to you. All this as the one person who brings calmness to me isn't around to speak to atm.

sigh ...

Billywigs at Brisbane Supanova

2008-04-12T04:58:52Z

Billywigs headed to Brisbane Supanova in early April. Supanova is a convention that is held in four cities around Australia currently with international guests from popular movie and TV series.

Lots of people who attend these conventions cosplay. Billywigs was no exception this year, with 5 members cosplaying and entering a skit which was awarded Runner Up Best Skit in the Sunday competition!

Afterwards (with very tired feet) we did a little photoshoot as the hotel where we stayed reminded us of Grimmauld Place and across the road was a museum that was very Hogwarts!

And so here is:

Black Family portrait

Bella and Tonks

Sirius and Tonks discuss matters of the Order

Nymphadora Tonks

Bellatrix LeStrange

Sirius Black

Hogwarts at night

What's in your head??

2008-04-11T08:23:49Z

*MESSAGE TO SELF* Don't let yourself go and fall for a friend again. She doesn't like you like that. Despite the fact she is the perfect person for you, she isn't interested. Find someone else and forget about her ... :-(

Sirius Black costume progress

2008-03-27T13:26:22Z

Got a brainwave (as it were) last night about how to do the flowers on the vest for Sirius Black. I originally was going to paint some embroidered flowers and then sew them to the vest. But I thought that would be too time-consuming. So I've decided to just paint them on.

Probably won't look as good as I imagined, but it'll do. Really don't wanna paint on this fantastic waistcoat, but it's gotta be done.

The buttons I found for the waistcoat are pretty cool. Should be interesting seeing it all together.

Favouritism

2008-03-12T07:28:49Z

I know this to be absolutely true.

A Team Leader at work has a disgraceful case of favourtism for people who they have had in their team before.

This is a major barrier for me at the moment trying to get into the training side of things at work, which is a goal of mine. I'm floorwalking with new people at the moment to help them out and the TL is talking down to me in front of the new guys.

I know my stuff ... and in fact know more than the TL, but she still favours one of the other floorwalkers who used to be in her team. The sun couldn't shine out of his ass enough for her.

I'm doing my damnedest to impress, even getting compliments from the newbies, but this TL seems not to acknowledge that.

This currently is a major barrier for work for me, as I want to be a trainer. May have to consider other options in other workplaces.

Yet the world still spins around ...

And then ...

2008-03-06T08:18:13Z

... all was calm again!

I bloody don't understand women!

On the up is that I get to floorwalk with new people next week at work. I love doing this ... it's great helping others getting up to speed with their new job. It also means I don't have to take calls, which is awesome! It also helps that most of the girls in the new team are hotties too ... hehehe

Bring on next week with a fury!

Human beings ...

2008-03-05T12:55:48Z

... are sometimes ridiculous creatures. I work with some ridiculous creatures definitely. One of my supposed 'friends' at work has turned on me and isn't speaking to me. While sometimes this is fine, I can't handle it when people have an issue with me. I need to know what it is so I can resolve it quickly. So today, I asked this 'friend' why they weren't talking to me, to which they replied, 'Well apparently you have an issue with me" ... Which was surprising, because I didn't have an issue with anyone! It's a very happy workplace! We laughed and mucked around on Monday , and it continued on Tuesday until she said, "I'm not in the mood today" ... and so I left her alone for the day.

Then is suddenly turns out that I have some kind of issue with her! Which isn't true at all! I tried talking to her about it today, but she simply wouldn't, preferring to give me the silent treatment instead.

Such a ridiculous situation. Seems nothing is going my way at the moment. It's all so stupid and pathetic.

Holding the fire

2008-01-23T08:29:40Z

I feel at the moment that when I think about certain things that have happened, visit certain places, I feel the fire of anger and betrayal burning in me. I almost react in a way I never thought I would. Nearly saying really horrible things.

I know that I have damn good reasons for feeling angry, but I can't understand why I am feeling so angry for this long. It's not like me ... I move on very quickly normally ... but not this time.

I can only think it's the feeling of betrayal .. which seems to cut pretty darn deep with me, and with most people I'd say.

One thing I know for sure is that there are under-rumblings of unhappiness in the family. I know things will change eventually. I need to do a few things first and then, I'll be ready to step up. I can only hope I have the support when that time comes. Love will suffer, but it has to for ultimate happiness. Pain is temporary.

Looking forward to getting my costumes ready for this year. Seems everything is focussed in the first half of the year. Means I have more choice in the second half.

Carving a path ...

When you turn 30 ...

2008-01-09T11:12:48Z

... it suddenly becomes much harder to lose weight. Be warned!

New Year and stuff

2007-12-31T17:06:18Z

Well *checks the time* yesterday was warm. 43C apparently and yeah it was warm, but not the worst I've experienced.

I love those people who whinge about it. Don't like it?? Move! Then you'll whinge cos it's too cold! Sheeeesh ... get over it!

I love the warm weather ... love it! Winter is bearable and all part of the cycle. Makes me look forward to summer.

What I don't love is being ignored (perhaps without knowing it) on boards I'm supposed to be a part of. Love how people gang up and go with an idea without consulting anyone else. Stuck with their blinkers on without considering anyone else's opinion. Feckin' hate it, and I'm almost ready to chuck in the towel on everything except Billywigs. Enough whinging for now, I'll write some music and express it that way.

Hopefully 2008 will be a year of change. The first job will be my weight. It's bugged me for a long time, and Sam's wedding will be the right catalyst to bring it under control. I'll be more comfortable then, and not so self-conscious ... which in turn is feeding my feeling of being ignored. Nasty circle.

Work seems to be the only fun thing at the moment, besides being at home watching TV, playing PS2, reading, being on the net or playing music.

Might join a band to boost my confidence. Always got a kick from playing music to people who give you immediate feedback. Miss that sometimes.

Ho hum

2007-10-27T16:31:01Z

Kind of steady life atm. Work's good, except for the painful crap of them constantly changing our rosters.

Am definitely going to BrisNova, and will be in two cosplay skits, which I'm really looking forward to!

Also trying to get Billywigs up and running properly. So far, so good. Am addicted to Foxtel. Eeek! Help!

What's the deal ...??

2007-09-20T11:26:27Z

So I'm a member of a Star Wars fan club who interact online and have get togethers in RL. That doesn't mean we're a bunch of paedophiles who prey on young people!!

We are simply like minded people (quite a few with families of their own) who get together and enjoy each other's company and friendship.

A friend who recently visited from the USA summed us up in one word in his view. 'Family'.

And that's EXACTLY what we are. No rogue has-been cop is going to defame our members and our club. We are stronger than you, and you will NOT win.

The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers

2007-09-15T14:52:27Z

Nice analogy cos it seems to be related to people to whom I'm attracted also. I'm finally at the stage of being able to approach someone I like and ask them out and before I get the chance, they have met someone.

It's happened once too many times, and really frustrates me.

Though the last person I was attracted to was very much out of my league. Beauty beyond belief, and a nice personality to boot.

Such is this life, but time now feels like it's slipping through my hands.

Well, better late than never

2007-09-10T11:20:10Z

Oops, forgot LJ existed. So much to say. So little motivation right now.

So going to try again later ...

Valentine's ... whatever

2007-02-14T15:03:46Z

Well ... another February 14th goes by ... and what have you done?

Pretty crappy day. My Valentine didn't turn up. And I find myself in love with a friend who doesn't feel the same way. A shame, but I'll move on.

Working on the weight thing ... haven't gotten on the scales for a long time, but I know I was 80 when I started ... so hope to see a difference, sometime.

Enough, sleep beckons.

It's a New Year

2007-01-01T11:45:47Z

Well ... it's a New Year, and time to just blabber about what I'm going to achieve this year. But slight difference is that I'll actually achieve them this year. I set myself the goal last year, but failed miserably.

Everything from music ideas (guitar based songwriting) to fitness updates and as ever the love situation.

So let it begin ... and if you're someone I know, feel free to make contact.